Being More Convincing and Competent

Some helpful and fun videos about how to be assertive.

(I own nothing)







W.I.M.P

Weak Indecisive Moody Person


1. Confront the issue.
(Describe your unhappiness. Explain what you want to see change)

2. Do's and Don't's
(Don't: lose your temper, make judgments,
 Do: Stand up tall and make eye contacts. Use "I" statements. Do own your feelings.)

3. Stay on your track.

(Consider new information and re-evaluate.)

4. Just say "no".

(Say 'no' to unreasonable requests.
Repeat the request.
Explain why you said "no".)








"If you want to gather honey, don't kick over the beehive."


1. State the facts

2. Assert yourself "say 'no' clearly."

3. Stay focused. Maintain your position and don't get side-tracked.

4. Look assertive. Tone of voice and body language. (Don't be hostile or insulting).





Here's some excerpts from other websites:

http://lifehacker.com/5906546/how-can-i-be-more-convincing-and-get-anything-i-want

http://www.fastcompany.com/3020234/leadership-now/looks-can-be-convincing-to-get-promoted-just-appear-competent

Structure Your Request in the Optimal Order

(Don't start your request like this)

Hi [INSERT NAME HERE],

Haven't seen you in years. I hope you're doing well. Congratulations on all you've been doing. It's really amazing! We should grab coffee sometime. If you could do me a favor, I'm in an online contest where I can win a big prize and I was wondering if you'd vote for me. Hope you're well, talk to you soon.

Thanks!
[ME]P

All the pleasantries fall short because they're preempting a request, so it sounds like you're saying all of that stuff because you want something and not because you mean it. Here's the same letter in the opposite order:

(P

Hi [INSERT NAME HERE],

I'm hoping you could vote for me in an online contest where I can win a big prize for my work. I haven't seen you in years. I hope you're doing well. Congratulations on all you've been doing. It's really amazing! We should grab coffee sometime.

Thanks!
[ME]P

Suddenly the pleasantries feel more genuine because you asked for what you wanted, then got to the buttery stuff. It feels real because it isn't colored by something else you want. If you're trying to convince someone to do something for you, just ask. Get to the other stuff afterwards and everything you say will be more effective.P

Require as Little Decision Making as Possible

The longer we deliberate and the harder we think, the more we deplete our willpower. And because willpower is a finite resource, we get stressed more and more easily as it's depleted. 

 If you need help from somebody, don't ask them to make a complex decision. You want to make that decision as simple as possible.

Let's say, for example, you want a friend tohelp you move to a new home. Simply making the request is the best option. Tell them when the move is, how much help you're going to need, and leave it at that. You want to avoid things like suggesting different moving dates and picking the one that best suits their schedule. That gives them a more difficult decision to make, they'll think about their choice a little more, and it'll stress them out just a little bit more. While additional decision making isn't always going to earn you a "no," it doesn't help. Pile on too many choices—even if they're well-intentioned and meant to help the person you're asking—and you'll hurt your chances of getting the result you want.

Ask for What You Want Right After Lunch

(or while eating. empty stomach increases the chance that the person will say "no".)

Don't Talk So Much

When you say something complex, and people aren't getting it, it's not going to help, generally, to say additional complex stuff. Before you start talking, take a minute to think about how to communicate the essence of your message in a simple way.

http://lifehacker.com/5906546/how-can-i-be-more-convincing-and-get-anything-i-want

LOOKS CAN BE CONVINCING: TO GET PROMOTED, JUST APPEAR COMPETENT

How so? Think about why brainstorming has a loudmouth problem: The person with the best ideas isn't the one who gets heard most. Rather, it's the most assertive person--unless you find a way to correct it.

if you're confident when you join a group, you'll be more assertive when you first start talking. As a result, you'll look more able to everybody--and thus take the top spot in the freshly formed pecking order.

HOW YOU FEEL TODAY; HOW FAR YOU'LL GO TOMORROW

• Group 1 had a "promotion-focused" condition: They wrote about their aspirations and ambition.
• Group 2 had a "prevention-focused" condition: They wrote about their duties and obligations.
• Group 3 had a "neutral" condition: They wrote about their commute to campus.

As was predicted, the promotion-primed people were more assertive and better regraded than the folks who reflected on their duties or commutes.

In the follow-up studies, (the authors) found that feeling powerful or happy when you entered a group not only led to immediate increases in status, but that this effect endured over subsequent group meetings, long after the writing task would have receded. Why? The person entering into the group, having just been primed with power, acted more assertively in the first few minutes, according to video tape coding. This set up patterns of communication that persist in the future. That early assertiveness becomes self-reinforcing within the group.

http://www.fastcompany.com/3020234/leadership-now/looks-can-be-convincing-to-get-promoted-just-appear-competent